


A Better Person

by Stria (Asia117)



Category: SKAM (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/F, Unrequited Love, but all my drabbles are angsty rip, i'm sorry i swear i'm writing a super cute and not angsty longfic for femslash february, one-sided noora/eva
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-29
Updated: 2017-01-29
Packaged: 2018-09-20 16:15:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 616
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9499739
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Asia117/pseuds/Stria
Summary: If she were a better person, she wouldn’t cry her eyes out every single time they go at a party and she sees the same scene playing out in front of her eyes.[Or, Eva and Vilde are together, and Noora is in love.]Translation in русский available inside.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I KNOW I KNOW I'M SORRY THIS IS ANGSTY. I KNOW. I'M SORRY.
> 
> I swear I have my long fic that's almost ready to go and that's fluffy and cute. But meanwhile I have this urge to write angsty drabbles. I'm really sorry.
> 
> [Though I wouldn't rule out the fact that this could be the beginning of a poly eva/noora/vilde verse tbh. I just need time.]
> 
> You can find the translation in русский [here](https://ficbook.net/readfic/6720223)!

Noora wishes she were a better person at least once a day.

If she were a better person, she would be able to let it go without problems, and she would be able to embrace the hurt she’s feeling and move on.

If she were a better person, she would have behaved differently at first, she wouldn’t have flirted with Eva, or she wouldn’t have stopped flirting with Eva once she discovered about Jonas.

If she were a better person, she wouldn’t cry her eyes out every single time they go at a party and she sees the same scene playing out in front of her eyes.

Vilde and Eva are an amazing couple, they really are, and Noora doesn’t doubt that. Vilde has come a long time, and they started hooking up in first year, does only make sense that they’re now together and out, like it’s all both ever wanted. They’re complementary, they just _fit_ with one another, and Noora wishes she were a better person, so she could feel that happiness she knows they deserve. But rationally being happy for them is not the same as feeling happy for them, and Noora just _hurts_ every time she sees them being carefree and making out, because that… that could have been her.

That could have been her and she chose the coward way out instead. She chose to be the friend who encourages Eva to talk with Jonas. She chose William, and she chose to take a year off for him. She chose to help Vilde getting together with Eva. If she were a better person, she would be okay with what she chose.

Of course, she’s not a better person. She regrets stopping flirting with Eva just because of Jonas, even if that’s one of her good choices. And fuck, does she regret William, whom she used just to try and forget Eva. Does she regret moving to London and taking a year off, just for a broken heart.

Maybe she did the right thing in helping Eva and Vilde getting together, but right now, watching them kissing and desperately wishing she was able to old her alcohol so she could have a drink, right now she doesn’t feel it. She just feels hurt, so hurt everything else is numb and not important.

She will probably get over it, rationally. She will manage to embrace her hurt, and somewhere along the line she will remember her high school crush as something endearing, and not as this searing pain she’s feeling right now. The problem is that she can’t skip years to get to that point, and she just has to live it.

Noora diverts her eyes from Eva and Vilde making out, gets up from the couch where she was sitting, and takes her coat. She wants to go home, she really can’t endure any more of that. She avoids Sana’s knowing eyes and gets outside as soon as she can.

She basically runs home. She doesn’t know when she starts crying, but when she arrives at the door, her eyes are foggy enough that she can’t fit the key in the hole, and Eskild has to come and open it to her.

Eskild, bless him, doesn’t ask anything, just hugs her and brings her to bed with him, without even giving her the time to take her makeup off. Eskild probably knows, but he’s never intrusive, not with what counts.

Noora snuggles up to him, and waits for the sobs to stop to be able to finally go to sleep. Tomorrow’s another day, and she’ll be able to pretend that nothing’s wrong. Today, she can cry all her tears in Eskild’s neck.

**Author's Note:**

> If you liked it, or if you want to kill me, I am available on [tumblr](http://cosenoditea.tumblr.com).


End file.
